the toddler life

oh the toddler days.

will is in the full blown "i want to do it, but i need you to do it, but i really want to do it myself but i can't so i'm going to throw a fit about it" stage. 

it's as exhausting as ever.

and sometimes i take him outside and zip him up in the trampoline and let him bounce out all the whiney. 

and we all feel a little better afterwards. 

this has to be the most challenging stage for me in motherhood. though with each boy i seem to handle it a little bit better. and i know, unfortunately, it all depends on how i'm handling the situation. i loose my patience a whole lot. and i struggle for months as we work out the battle of the "wills." {pun intended}

when i can look past the frustration of the moment and gain a little perspective, i realize that  this child is all his own. and i can enjoy figuring him out. i can look further into him and stoop a little lower for him. i can become less self involved and take his little face in my hands and listen to him fumble through sounds to create words. i can cheer for him when he DOES do it himself. i can build into him confidence and show him patience as my Father faithfully shows me. 

it's all in perspective. sometimes i have it. sometimes i don't. 

when i do realize that this stage is a gift from the Lord, i certainly am grateful for it. but when i'm frustrated because he's just not doing what i want him to do, i end up hating this stage. 

it rubs me raw at times and is ever present. but truly, truly it drives me to my knees moment by moment and exposes the ugly selfishness in my heart. 

that's what the toddler life looks like for me.

but for him...

there is so much wonder and awe at every turn. there's so much to get into and explore. there are so many things to put in the toilet. 

there is no rhyme or reason to really anything in his mind except that HE can certainly do it on his own. until of course, he realizes he can't. 

there is so much urgency in every moment.

there is excitement for the small things. and there is devastation to the extreme. 

there is joy from popping bubble after bubble. there are teeth cutting through swollen gums and an opinion on everything. 

his way is always the best way. clearly.

there are messes to be made, folded laundry to throw around, and brothers to hassle. 

and this little one is figuring out his little world.

and i am learning right alongside him!