the weekly | seventeen

this week was definitely characterized by most my most favorite activity on the face of the earth. spending the simplest of times with friends. 

the only time i have pictures of was our time at the greenway. in my eyes it was a perfect day. (except that grey wasn't there with us) the sky was crystal clear, the sun was warm, and the boys played in the dirt contentedly for three straight hours while Thornley and i were allowed the freedom to just spend time together. we are so much the same and our friendship is a cherished one. i'm pretty sure our boys would agree. 

our weekend was much the same. we spent great time with great families over many meals. 

community. we are most alive when we are living full throttle among others. 

and at the end of a week like this, i am at my fullest. only craving more of just the same. 

the weekly | sixteen

we had such a simple little spring break week. we piddled around and did some fun things together. but what i remember most is just enjoying each other right where we were.

easter

we celebrated our risen King on sunday morning with our church body. what an absolute joy!!! and i am celebrating to this day. i just can't get over it this season. and i'm hopeful that's the way it should be.

poppie, marmie, and gram were in for the weekend. i made my signature strawberry shortcake and a simple lunch to gather around the table. 

the weekly | fifteen

we spent the first part of spring break in going to the clemson spring game with cousins and celebrating with some time together at my mom and dad's. all the boys needed were the outdoors, a frog to catch, a few guns, and each other!

the weekly | fourteen

we had a week of yard work and it was just the beginning! i came up with a master backyard plan that may take 5 years to complete, but it's such a creative outlet for me. i could work in the yard for days on end and never tire.

part of that plan was to buy a focal point evergreen tree for the back. so we loaded up and headed to our favorite tree farm. it was very different from our last visit.

the boys ran free in the sunshine, found sticks, and chased butterflies. magical. that place is magical.

we ended up getting to spend time with Steve, the owner. we learned LOTS about trees and got to pick out our very own holly. it's sure to bring the birds and is absolutely perfect.

it wasn't long after that we all came down with the stomach virus but i'll choose not to post pictures of that for everyone's sake.

parenting | here and now

as our boys grow, parenting is shifting for us. it turns from diaper changes to heart matters. and it's hard.

i find myself daily dealing with the realness of what's in the heart and the manifestation of sin in their lives. and understanding that that's what it is. that when they tell a lie, or have a crummy attitude because they didn't get what they wanted when they wanted it, or react with a a punch or a kick, or call each other names. or when they don't think of others first and get greedy with things, or blatantly disobey, or lie to me. that this is the natural outpouring of what is in their hearts. 

and what a picture it is. of myself. of all the mess i am.

as they grow there is a deeper understanding on their part and the matters seem urgent.  

i lay in bed at night and plead with all of my heart for God to save their souls. and to give me wisdom in guiding them. in guiding their unbelieving hearts in ways that they can't understand yet. but i don't know how all that works. and i feel helpless.

i scratch their backs and talk of my sin. of my bad attitude and my unbelief. of living for myself and how fruitless and miserable it is. 

of the love of my savior that saved me from all of it.  the hope of my soul and the anchor that always holds. 

but i can't change them. 

and as they grow i am learning to let go a little more. and to trust. and to believe that when i said i understand they are on loan to me, that that's really what that means. to hold them loosely.

 that their hearts are fragile and lost and oh how that breaks mine. 

i don't have control of them. they are boys becoming men. i can pour it in and pour it in and continue to persevere but i can't change them. i can't make them new. i can't make them love the Lord and trust in His provision through Jesus. 

and that's hard. but so freeing if i can allow it to be. 

the weekly | thirteen

homework and paint colors out back after school

seeds planted by little hands. oh how we love watching things grow!

catching a candid moment between those little ones

grey bear growing so much.