just like Jesus

When I was a little girl, I vividly remember my bedtime routine. It went a little something like this. After a clear warning of exactly how many minutes until bedtime, my dad would throw me over his shoulder like “a sack of potatoes” and carry me up the stairs to my bed. He would then drop me from his shoulder to the bed in which I asked to do over and over again. After a few times he would settle me in, pull my blankets up, tuck me in tight, and kneel beside my bed. Then he would pray with me.

My father would approach his Father on behalf of me, his daughter. At the end of each prayer, he never failed to boldly beg of God, “Father, please mold Meghan to be just like Jesus.” Those words will never ever leave my mind and my heart. Those words request that my heart be soft enough to be molded and to desire the righteousness that God requires.

My senior year in high school, God spoke very clearly to me. He almost audibly told me, “You need me Meghan. It’s time for you to give up. It’s time for you to quit suppressing the truth that I have made so clear to you. Open your hands and let go of all the things that you hold so tight.” Right there on my bedroom floor, Jesus was enough. He was freedom and He IS freedom. Only by His grace was I saved from His wrath.

My heart was hardened for so long, 17 years to be exact. In those moments, I began to open my hands and let go, little by little, of all the things that I held so precious. Jesus was enough. In those moments, he saved me through faith. I died with him and was raised with him. I was truly born again. I was free. I AM free!

From the moment I was redeemed, I have been in process. Some may describe it as a chiseling, a molding, a pruning if you will. My point is, for about 9 years my Heavenly Father has been CONSTANTLY molding me, chiseling me, pruning me to look just like Jesus. What a gracious God to want that for me. (and a wise father to pray that for his daughter)

In that process, I am fighting in my flesh and I am tired. It’s hard. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. He lives inside of me and He is Holy. I am in the flesh and it’s ugly and it’s the opposite of holy. There are times in this gruesome battle, that I fight with all I have. There are other times I become so apathetic, I don’t even understand that there is a battle.

In recent months, the battle has been so fierce that I almost am physically overtaken. The more the Lord chooses to teach me about Himself, the tougher it gets. I feel SO incredibly out of place in this world. I can see and understand what He desires but yet I have to fight my flesh every single second to achieve that standard. I fall short way too often. I am called to something far greater than ANYTHING this world could offer me.

Matthew and I understand that we are being chiseled (my choice description of the process of sanctification). We understand that Jesus is our hope and our goal. Jesus needs to be enough in every moment. We are fighting to make the right decisions. We understand it begins in the small things. Sheesh, it’s so incredibly difficult. It is our desire to look just like Jesus. This means we will not look like everybody else. As we begin making the decisions in the small things, hopefully they will turn into big things.

I could say about a billion more things that have been on my mind but I have neither the time nor the energy in this moment. God is teaching our family things. And we are striving to let Jesus be enough so that we can allow Him to do His will in our lives. In this process, my dad’s prayer will be answered. I am so hopeful and will hold fast in confidence of my God who is gracious. 

*Watch this for a picture of what I'm talking about.

baby blue eyes

he's just so sweet i can't stand it!

mmm

this little boy is high on hot chocolate. can you tell by the evidence dribbling down from his mouth? this type of day called for a nice, hearty eeyore mug of that sweet stuff! 

TEC.5

Our little Tuck is 5 months old today. He likes his mommy and he likes pumpkins. He likes to smile and he's good at it. We can't get enough of our sweet little boy! 

refreshed

this is how our little trip began. flying like airplanes over the bridge.

flying like airplanes down the trails.

spitting all over while making the airplane noise.

tuck and daddy enjoying the views and the perfect weather.

looking at leaves (that "Dod" (God) made)

all tuck's hard work looking around, smiling, and kicking wore him out!

the Greenway is about 5-10 minutes from our house. there are lots of things to do but today we decided to "hike." we "hiked" a little ways around the lake and just enjoyed the absolutely perfect weather. the trees are changing colors and the water was still. it was just nice to all be together. we all were extremely relaxed and refreshed on the way home. that's what a good dose of beautiful scenery, a nice breeze, and good walk will do for you!

My Mom

Growing up, every morning I would come downstairs and into the living room to find my mom sitting in “her chair” with the Word of God opened in her lap. She would begin her days with truth. She would fill her mind and her heart with eternal things. What an amazing example for a little girl to see and to follow. This is an image that will be etched in my mind for the rest of my life.

When I was little, I would crawl up into her lap and she would scratch my back and comfort me. She had patience with my temper tantrums. She disciplined me under the instruction of the Lord. She taught me who God is. She taught me how to make the right choices. She attended to my every need and provided a loving environment surrounded by the Word of God and His instruction.

When I was a teenager, I would lay my head on my mom’s lap and she would scratch my back and it would bring me so much comfort to be in my mother’s arms. She was still patient with my temper tantrums and my emotional state. She still disciplined me under the instruction of the Lord. She taught me how to respond to life in the knowledge of who God is. She loved me when I made the wrong choices. She encouraged me to be in the Word of God and to live by His instruction.

Now that I am a mother, I call my mom and am comforted by her voice and her words of encouragement. She is still patient with me in small things. She no longer disciplines me but has modeled to me discipline that the Lord requires and encourages me to do the same with my children. She listens to me as I process life through the knowledge of who God is. She encourages me to make the right choices for my family. She encourages me as I struggle to measure up to God’s standards.

Her wisdom is from the Lord and it has overflowed into my life. God has chosen to redeem her and reveal Himself to her. She has chosen to follow Him and in turn guide me according to His purposes. He chose to give her to me as my mom. I am so grateful for her life today. Happy Birthday Mom!

for safe keeping

When Grey got up and came downstairs, he told me he needed to go tee tee. So we walked to the bathroom and he got up on the potty. This is what happened next that I wanted to record for safe keeping.

Me: "Grey, are you sure you don't want to try and go poo poo?"

Grey: "No Mommy, I don't need to go poo poo."

Me: "Okay. Let's go eat breakfast."

Grey: "Wait! (sniffs the air a few times) I smell a worm. (sniffs again) Yep Mommy, I smell a worm. A *gummy worm! I DO need to go poo poo!"

*He sometimes gets a gummy worm for going poo poo in the potty.

 I was laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. 

bright spot

Today has been one of those days that I cannot wait to be over. It's awful that I even want that. There are many things that have contributed to my urgency for the day to end but number one is the fact that I've been up since 5:30 and pretty much couped up inside with me and both boys all day. No Matthew to relieve any of the little things that have made it a day like today. I think I've had about all I can take for the week. Anyhow, no need to get into the details because in the scheme of things, it's not that bad.

I have had a few bright spots in the day. The first of which is the Tigers played some really great football today and Grey and I watched most of the game. Secondly was when Grey told me he wanted to be a snowman because he was so cold. He decided to find he and Tucker a hat and they were both "snowmen." They do make me happy.

the sitting tuck

No need for the Bumbo these days. The Tuck man has started prop sitting. Enjoy the cute little boy!

a blustery day

what we did on a very rainy and cold day.

watched the rain.

really watched the rain.

made each other laugh.

played with playdoh.

stacked all of the playdoh.

watched the Veggietales Jonah movie.

made apple muffins.

cored and peeled apples.

watched the muffins bake.

we also made a tent and read books with a flashlight, played with trains, and danced. it was a good day but when the rain stopped you better believe Grey was outside :)

an apple tradition

We'll have to take a walk through a few pictures from our last year's annual trip up Pinnacle Road to the one and only Sky Top Orchard...

I hope you enjoyed that and can imagine Grey a year older and a little Tuck strapped on in the Bjorn. Why are you imagining? Well let's just say my well thought out photo shoot in the most beautiful weather couldn't happen without a camera!

I got up at 6:30 because I woke up thinking "I better charge the battery for the camera just to make sure we have enough for the whole day." So I proceeded to come downstairs, plug in the battery, and watch the light turn from orange to green signaling that the battery was charged.

I was so excited after singing the "Apple Tree" song (one Grey and I made up) and driving up the curvy road to the apple orchard. Grey has been asking for weeks upon weeks to go pick apples and the time had finally come. My mind was flooding with ideas for some cute pictures this year.

We park and I flip the camera to 'on' and...nothing. No numbers, no lights, no nothing. I flipped it off then on then off the on. Matthew and I tried everything we could possibly imagine and got NOTHING. My next thought process was, "well, I guess it's not meant to be that we get caught up in outrageously awesome photo opportunities but to just enjoy each other." Nah, that couldn't really be what was supposed to happen. There was a perfect amount of cloudiness and sun. I had been looking forward to photographing my Tuck on his first apple picking adventure and HAD to have every apple picked by Grey documented.

Not so. We did have our video camera but it is nowhere close to the same as the thrill I have from trying to compose a good picture. Oh well.

Enough about that. Now everyone is aware of my extreme disappointment in the day. I had to move on and enjoy our time which was fairly easy to do.

This was year number 5 going to Sky Top for Matthew and I. It changes every year in some little way. I will never forget the first year we went. We had been married a couple of months and took a day trip to the mountains. Oh the bliss. We picked bushels of apples with the intent of brewing up some apple butter. We did just that and have every year since. Mmm Mmm delicious!

Moving on. This year we came a week later than last year. There were still loads of apples for us to pick and along with that, loads of yellow jackets to sting Grey Bear. Two of those silly little guys stuck their stinger right into him. They were everywhere. I was trying not to bring attention to that fact but my very sweet, calm husband is terrified of bees. So much for not making a big deal about it.

We did pick lots of apples interrupted by a couple of bee stings, Grey picked out a pumpkin for he and Tucker, we ate hot apple cider donuts, had an apple slushie (or an apple sushi as Grey calls them), road the wagon, played on the playground, climbed the ladder into the trees, had a picnic, measured ourselves at "how tall this fall" and just enjoyed each other. Tuck did awesome. Have I mentioned he's a superstar?! Pretty sure I have quite a few times.

With zero pictures, I am more than saddened. But, the important thing is our goal in the trip was accomplished. A day to enjoy the gift of our family!

a beautiful wedding

My cousin Courtney Todd become Mrs. Courtney Root this past weekend! And boy, she was a stunning bride. It was such a beautiful wedding in the Georgia mountains. It was wonderful to see the picture through a ceremony of God's vision for Christ and the church. I couldn't get any good pictures of the ceremony due to my young babe son's squeals of tiredness, but here's one not so good one...

and here are me and the boys after the wedding. wish tuck wasn't cut off . both of my boys looked handsome!

my dad spent some quality time playing with the boys and doing this...staring at my mom :)

very pretty centerpieces

wish i had a video of Grey dancing like a fool. this a small glimpse. he was a tad intimidated to go onto the actual dance floor so he stuck right by our table and broke it down.

Marmie and Tuck had some great time bonding on our trip. Grey tends to monopolize she and Poppie's attention when they are together but she actually got some moments with Tucker.

there were even ponies that Grey and Poppie fed a little grass and my dad so lovingly named them Clyde and Dale. oh Poppie!

oh my sweet Gram. I absolutely love this picture. I will forever hold this sweet face so dear to my heart. if she could have, i'm sure she would have been out on the dance floor herself. as you can see, she is quite a party animal. really though, i love this lady. i so enjoyed my time with her. God placed us together for such a reason and I am ever grateful.

the beautiful couple during their first dance. this is the best shot i could get of them.

my mom and her 2 brothers. i know gram was so glad to have her 3 children with her at such a celebration!

Grey dancing with Marmie. this is the only way he would get out there.

the next day my Aunt Julie had a brunch at a beautiful mountain house. we got to spend time with family and relax together after the big day. great quality time but it was too short. this is Grey with my cousin Hannah. i so wish we could spend more time together! although, i did enjoy recalling the year my mom made us matching gowns for Christmas morning. we were really cool in our younger years.

Hannah with Tuck. It's evident she won them both over :) Way to go Hannah!

it was really great. i have come to realize how much i take family for granted and what little time we actually spend together. life gets busy and distances become further. we should make more of an effort. it's such a blessing when the time is right. congrats Courtney and Kevin!

on your mark, get set, BOWL

we have a homemade bowling alley. this has been one of grey's favorite pastimes in the recent days. these are poor picture quality due to lighting but I thought they were fun!