the kindergarten kid

monday was kindergarten kick off day! the very first day of school, officially speaking.

grey couldn't sleep the night before. he was so excited. 

he requested eggs and bear meat for breakfast. (aka eggs and turkey sausage) he brushed his teeth, made his bed, and put on the clothes he picked out the night before. then he bounced from window to window until 9:00 am when he knew his friends would be here. and school would officially begin!

{my first teacher gift from grey.}

here are the kindergarteners! 

and the whole bunch minus monroe. he was sleeping.

i need to mention just a snippet, just a snippet i repeat, of the ways that God has provided in the biggest and smallest of ways for this journey. two of my very dear friends also decided to homeschool this year. one of them is a veteran (praise the Lord) and the other is a first timer just like me. i would do this no matter what but the Lord has put two women right beside me for this season. how awesome. no, that doesn't do it justice. i know i haven't even experienced the greatness of it yet. isn't it just like HIM to provide above and beyond?!

  anyway, we are teaching our children every monday together in one of our homes. what an incredible blessing. incredible. 

our day was full and good. 

one thing i do know is we are ALL going to learn a whole lot this year!

just because

because these boys are growing at the speed of light. 

because they make funny faces.

and they get sillier as the days move on.

because they are changing minute by minute acquiring new things.

because they are brothers with a bond that we love watching take shape.

because they are each so unique.

because we want to capture all of who they are. 

because we lay in bed at night and put words to the day. the struggle, the challenge, but most of all the JOY these three are. 

journal entry . august 22, 2012

August 22, 2012

I put that little boy, growing taller, in the back seat today. He’s five now but sometimes I mistake him for twenty five. He talks the whole way. He asks me about the way we are going and tells me of all things familiar along the road. He asks for that song again and belts it out loud. He tells me of our past dates and asks for ice cream on the way home. 

It was really nothing too extraordinary, just a morning out for us both to buy some brand new pencils. 

But it was extraordinary. 

A young man, growing taller but also growing wiser. I can see it. I see the man he was created to be all bottled up in that little boy, that young man. I see his strengths and I know his weakness. 

And today, today was the day that I would let him go into that big, huge world of kindergarten. But he didn’t go. Instead we picked out yellow number two pencils with a sharpener. 

As I reached down and rubbed his fuzzy little head, I thanked God for His plan. I thanked Him that He has given me the strength to obey even when I don’t want to. That no matter how hard this journey before us is, it’s what is absolutely best. That even when I am weak that He is indeed, forever strong. 

I vividly remember that February day when I finally gave up fighting. When I said yes. When I agreed that the Lord really does know best no matter what I think or feel. It was so clear I couldn’t just ignore it any longer. It is best for us to school Grey here in our home this year. No matter how many times I told the Lord no, He continued to tell me yes. 

That was only the beginning. Saying yes to what He was asking. Giving up all of my preconceived thoughts on homeschooling and bringing me to my knees yet again.

And simply saying “yes!” 

“Abide. Because it’s never about your capabilities. When you’re in covenant with Christ, it’s His responsibility to cover your cracks, to be all your competency and completeness.

Inabilities, in Christ, are made all-sufficient, just-right abilities. Abandon worries — and wholly abide.” - Ann V.

down by the river

what a blessing to take a spontaneous trip to the river on a week night. i'm finding more and more the key to enjoying life is to just slow down. 

slowing down to wade in the river. to hold perfectly smooth pebbles in the palm of your hand. to feel the rocks on the bottom of your feet. to gather sticks and use them as swords. to hear the river trickling by. to skip rocks with daddy. to get dirty. to simply explore without too many boundaries. 

it makes us all come alive.

finding words

as our days move forward, we become ever increasingly aware of our need. parenthood sure exposes that ten fold. over and over in our hearts we are constantly asking the Lord what He would have us do with these lives He has placed in our care. and ever increasingly so, we are reminded of our lack of power. of our weakness. of our utter need for His grace day to day.

and the beautiful part of it all is the strength that pours forth from the weakness He exposes. 

as i look back over 5 plus years of parenthood, i see a very clear picture of the Lord bringing me to the place that i thrive time and time again. on my knees. on my face. before God Almighty. 

i sat with my older two just this morning to explain God's plan for their relationship with each other. and as i used words that a five and three year old could understand, i realize how simple God really makes it for us. maybe it's the purist in me, but when we strip all the fancy garb down to words that He uses over and over in scripture, it's really quite plain and simple. 

 we make it complicated. sin makes it complicated. messy, rather.

as i fight feelings of insecurity in decisions we make for our family, i find myself on my knees again. and then it's all so clear. so crystal clear. when i look to the right and to the left is when it all becomes so blurry. so fuzzy. when i redirect my heart is when it all focuses up just right and my confidence is restored. in Him.

we walk this journey of faith alongside others as well. so many we love deeply. we find ourselves in community with other believers that are experiencing the greatness of God just as we are. i find myself in tears almost daily as i listen and see His power in them and my heart is encouraged far beyond what words could do justice. we serve a God bigger than our minds can possibly conceive. He is able. He makes us able.

so whether it's within our family of five or extended to our brothers and sisters in Christ, He is working mightily. so very mightily that it physically overwhelms me.  as we trudge through, we are constantly remembering His faithfulness in all things. we look around and can only declare the evidence is His work in and through.

praise God that He is so far outside of what we can imagine. praise God for allowing us to experience even a taste of that day to day. how i long to be with Him in His presence but here and now i am experiencing the God of the universe moment by moment. and He makes those moments to be so much more than what my little head could possibly dream up.