you wish

you were this awesomely chunky as a baby.

that's me my friends! right at a year old in all my rolls of glory.

i think matthew fell in love with me more when he saw this picture. 

too bad none of my boys seem to be basking in this much chunk. it's a beautiful thing!

this is real life

and the picture quality proves it. it's horrible really.

sometimes i just need to grab the camera and use whatever lens that's on it with whatever current settings are on and do the best i can holding a baby, and/or warding off tackles and being whacked by a sword. i find myself laughing a lot throughout the day at various sights. i even catch myself saying really funny things out loud that if taken out of context, one may wet their pants upon hearing it. i'll be back with some of those soon. for now, here's a visual.

when the day is hard

when patience just won't prevail.

when your two year old poops in his underwear multiple times and it's really messy.

when your efforts at consistent discipline are failing miserably. {at least it seems like it in the moment}

when it's been an eternity since you've had a real conversation with your husband.

when you can't see the good.

when all the beds are unmade.

when messes of gargantuan proportions are being made while you're nursing.

when you don't have more than 10 minutes to yourself.

when you feel like all you've done all day is give spankings for disobedience.

when you don't even complete ONE task.

when there are loads of clean clothes scattered all over your bedroom.

when the suitcases need unpacking.

when you can't keep up.

when you can't succomb to the "hold you's" all day.

when the crying trumps the laughing.

when you walk around with spit up on your shirt all day.

when your four year old asks you one thousand eighty seven questions and you only know how to answer half of them.

when there's crayon on the wall, the hardwood floor, and the chair.

when everyone is crying.

when it's all you can do to get the chicken marinated for dinner.

when the fighting is constant.

when you feel like you've run a marathon by 11 a.m.

when you complain to your husband the one time you talk to him during the day.

when the baby won't nap.

when the bellies are never satisfied.

when the squeals are ear piercing.

when you want to be anywhere but here but you don't want to be anywhere but here.


when i finally get a quiet moment.

when i can finally see the all of the good. 

when the overwhelming moments cease and i can see clearly and gain perspective.

i find myself begging the Lord for strength because i know He covers me and all of my imperfections. and then i am grateful to He alone for His grace in all the moments that seem so incredibly difficult. i have it really good. and i rejoice with a grateful heart.

my boys are full blown healthy.

we have food to fill their bellies.

my baby sleeps 9 hours at night. and then some.

my two year old did not have even ONE tee tee accident in his underwear.

my boys are physically able to squeal, play, and fight.

we have a home that has to be cleaned.

my four year old has a constantly working, intelligent mind.

we have the clothes to wash, the chicken to marinate, and the beds to make. 

i have a husband that encourages me daily even when i complain and whine.

we have the wisdom to discipline. 

i have the Spirit inside of me who is patient and kind.

i have the Word to cling to and give me hope.

i get to stay home with all of my children and watch them grow, nurture them, and guide them. 

i will cling to Him and be grateful when the day is hard.  

dear daddy.day four

july 21, 2011

dear daddy,

i had breakfast with poppie this morning before he went to work. just me and poppie at the kitchen counter. he fixed me cereal. no one else was awake yet. i cried when he went to work.

mommy told us that we were going to get to play with some friends today. i didn't know it was going to be so much fun! mrs. ashley, grant, and lydia came to play. mommy said she used to live with mrs. ashley at clemson and she said those were some of the best years of her life. i believe her because they talked the whole time they were together like they'd known each other for years!

grey and grant were pretty silly. they had their share of moments but the sure did play hard together.

we went swimming today. grey and ms. april got to spend time together again and i was so tired of them having so much fun i screamed and cried in the pool. mommy had to give me a snack to calm me down. then i tried to scale the fence just for fun. all i wanted to do was swim holding grey's hand. they finally let me towards the end. then i smiled really big. i love grey most of the time.

i watched grey swim the LENGTH of the junior olympic size swimming pool today with just his swimming belt. he was swimming so much i couldn't keep up with him. he's really brave. he tried to show me how to reach really far with my arms and kick really hard. i know how to kick hard and float on my back. since he was swimming like a fish, i decided to throw my car from the side of the pool and jump in to get it over and over again. 

we all came home, ate lunch, and chased each other around poppie and marmie's house. i had to take a nap after that. i have a sneaky suspicion grey and grant got to stay up and watch peter pan without me and lydia. and i'm pretty sure they practiced balancing balls on their feet.

we got to play some more with grant and lydia. i tried not to tackle them too much. not everybody likes to be tackled you know. at least that's what mommy tells me. i never cooperate with mommy when she wants to take a picture. but i let her get me in at least ONE just to satisfy her for a few days. {don't tell her, but it's not a very good picture}

i was sad when mrs. ashley, grant, and lydia had to leave. we had so much fun with them! i think we'll get to see them soon though. mommy told me you are great friends with their daddy, mr. seth. you need to call him so we can all play again soon.

i found a penny yesterday and i want to carry it with me everywhere in my little hand. it's kind of like those little fishies i found at the beach. i cried when they would fall out. but marmie found an easter egg for me to keep it in so i know where it is when it's not in my hand. she's such a good marmie, always thinking.

i told mommy "no!" today and got a spanking. it hurt but i think i'm learning it's not okay to tell mommy "no."

i can make mommy laugh so hard. all i do is repeat everything she says and make cute faces at her. i don't know why she laughs so much at me.

i tried to poo poo in the potty so i could get marshmallows on sticks today. i didn't succeed once. mommy thinks it's great that i'm trying. she said she's going to start letting me wear big boy underwear when we get home because i'm doing such a great job!

grey let me sit in the chair with him for about 10 minutes. it made me happier than ever!

well i think that's all i wanted to tell you daddy.

i love you,

tuck man

dear daddy.day three

july 20, 2011

dear daddy,

you never fail to make mommy feel like she is the light of your life. good job with ALL of the birthday surprises over the last week and that super special blog post you wrote for her. you are one fine daddy.

well, tuck man and i woke mommy up by singing "happy birthday" to her as loud as we could. then we smothered her with kisses and climbed into bed with her. we were so happy it was finally her birthday.

i couldn't wait for her to come downstairs to see all of my decorations that me, poppie, and tucker put up last night. we popped a few balloons while we were putting them up but that's okay. she loved them! i knew she would.

i made her a special card and helped marmie wrap a couple of presents i picked out for her. first, i picked out a pink cup with a straw because she needed a girl color. i also picked out a cookie sheet because she really needs a new one to bake some yummy cookies for us! wanna know what i told marmie to write in here card? good. i knew you would...

"dear mommy,

i love so much and when you don't see me, tucker will be with you. and you can play with him and make will laugh.

happy birthday! i love you!
happy birthday to you!

GREY"

mommy got to talk to you on the phone this morning. i think that made her really happy because she smiled a lot.

tuck and i played and let marmie and mommy talk and drink coffee and tea. we fought a little bit and tucker hit me but that's okay. then i got to put my bathing suit on and go to my swimming lessons again! i was so excited because i had a couple more surprises for mommy. i swam with just the swim belt on by myself! then i put my goggles on and went under water for a couple of seconds! happy birthday mommy! she was proud.

the adam's girls sent mommy a special party in a box with all sorts of fun things in it. tuck and i played with the blowers all day.

while mommy and marmie went shopping this afternoon, i got to take a nap and play with poppie. we watched george 2 and i laughed at the really funny parts. when they brought will home i taught him how to wrestle a little bit. but i was very gentle. he liked sitting on my tummy. we laughed at each other. i love sweet little chubby cheeks.

marmie made mommy a special birthday dinner. tucker liked eating the ribs.

i locked myself in the bathroom during dinner and cried. then marmie explained the digestive system to me again because i had lots of questions about what happens to the food when we eat it. tucker almost got a spanking at dinner because he wouldn't sit down. i made sure he remembered if he didn't sit down he would definitely get a spanking.

tucker kept saying it was his birthday today. but i set him straight every time.

we got to have a yummy pie after dinner. i told marmie i don't like ANY kind of pie but i really did like this one. it was delicious and i ate every bite. we sang "happy birthday" to mommy and me and tuck helped her blow out her candle.


i kissed and hugged mommy a lot today. i think it made her feel special. i learn from watching you, you know. you do a really good job loving mommy. i am being the man of the family while you're gone just like you told me to. sometimes i don't obey or listen to mommy the first time but i'm working on that too.

i had fun on mommy's birthday and she did too. when you come home and i come home i am going to hug and kiss you a lot.

we miss you and can't wait to see you soon daddy!

love,

grey bear

A HACKERS PERSPECTIVE

Having been married to this lovely lady for 6 years now, it wasn’t too difficult to crack the password for her blog.

Look at that smile.  mmm hmm.  Anyway, in honor of her birth 28 years ago, I thought I might give a few insights that others normally might not see. 

• When I get down on myself and get to whining about things, she doesn’t caudle me, she points me to Truth. 
• Speaking of whining, when I am sick, and I whine a lot, she treats me like a baby because she knows that I need that more than medicine. 
• Recently one of her favorite bloggers “re-pinned” something from her pinterest page.  This created quite a stir in our household. 
• Though she will tell you with her mouth that she doesn’t really like dancing, all it takes is a good beat to get her body moving.  This is proven in the dance ability of our children. 
• She has a deep desire for others to experience Jesus and community to the depths that she has, and it frustrates her for them when they aren’t able to. 
• For such a free-spirited person, she is quite a creature of habit.  She will eat the same breakfast for months at a time (british muffins from Trader Joes with peach All-fruit).  We pause whatever we are doing every night at 10:17 to watch the weather.  She would also rather watch her favorite movies (You’ve Got Mail, The Devil Wears Prada, and The Holiday) over and over again before watching a new one. 
• There have been numerous times in our marriage when I was struggling in my desire to spend time with the Lord, and I walked in on her faithfully studying the Scriptures.  This was all the encouragement I needed. 
• Speaking of that, when we are both studying the Word at the same time on the couch, she rejoices with the Truth she is learning so much that she constantly interrupts my study to tell me what she’s learning.  These are the most beautiful interruptions that I will ever have. 
• Want to know how much she loves our children?  In the very rare occasion that we get to go on a date, and she finally has 3 hours away from them, all she can do is talk about them.  How she wants to be a better mom, the desires she has for each of them individually, and how she wants them to understand the truth.  This is a picture I took of her on our last date as she was talking about Tuck.  They bring her such joy.  

Words cannot express how glad I am that 28 years ago the Lord saw fit to bring Meghan to this earth.  I could continue to write about all of the wonderful things that make her so lovely.   I wish you all were able to know her like I do. 

Happy Birthday Meghan!  I love you!

dear daddy.day two

july 19, 2011

dear daddy,

today is mommy's last day of being 27 years old. she does realize she's going downhill quickly and even thinks she's going to need glasses soon. please pray for her.

we all slept until 7 this morning. all of us! woohoo! we all had a great breakfast and headed out to trader joe's to find ribbit the frog. grey thought he was going to be a real frog. when we found him grey looked at mommy and said, "mommy, he's not real at all!" indeed. he is a stuffed frog but he and tuck got a sucker for finding him. we found a delightful treat at trader joe's. frozen chocolate covered banana slices. you would love them.

tuck cried and wanted to go to bed when we got home {at 10:30} and did a flip into his bed to get his paci along with bear bear and doggie. he screamed and ran away when we said it was time to go to the pool so marmie stayed here with him while mommy took grey to swimming lessons. grey made mommy dive for the diving rings for about thirty minutes and then she swam around the pool multiple times with grey on her back. then mommy and grey had a picnic at the pool. during the picnic grey informed mommy that flies have itty bitty tongues that really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. did you know that?

while we were gone tuck decided it would finally be okay to POO POO IN THE POTTY. that's right. my mom is a miracle worker. also evidencing her miracle work, she put will down for a nap and he ended up sleeping for an hour and a half!

mommy and will played for a long while this afternoon while the bigger boys napped. it was the sweetest time. that little boy is absolutely, positively precious. 

grey and marmie ran a few errands this afternoon. grey did not accidentally tell mommy what he picked out for her birthday tomorrow. and he did not then say, "oohh! woops! i forgot i wasn't supposed to tell you." to which she did not reassure him she was still going to be surprised tomorrow.
 
my word, we have laughed all day! we sure are funny.

we went to anitas for dinner. martha was there. in all her sassiness.

she kissed us all and was excited to meet will.

we laughed through the entire meal. grey and tucker decided it was a great idea to yell "poo poo" and "tee tee" really loud. at dinner. in a restaurant. with other families close by.

tucker got in and out of his seat 500 times and kept yelling "martha!" until she came back to the table. we made a scene as usual and mommy realized again why we don't go out to eat often.

will played with his toes and marmie fed him chips and salsa. i think his first anitas experience was a success!

grey ate lots of chips and cheese and also tried the parsley tonight while marmie explained the digestive system to him.

on our way home grey asked mommy 5 times if she could go straight to bed after she took a shower tonight. he has things to do to surprise the birthday girl tomorrow. you better believe he's following in your shoes. he's decorating the kitchen now. but mommy definitely does not know about it.

mommy here: so many things happen in a day that i wish i had a permanent video camera glued to my face. i laughed so hard today i cried twice!  tucker is talking non-stop and will is growing day by day. grey is bossing everyone around and being as sweet as ever. if those two things can go together. they do with him.

we miss you.

love,
us minus you

added after bedtime: 

grey asked mommy how God makes us without gluing us together. then asked if the God was angry with the men who took Jesus away. just thought you may want to be prepared for when you come home :) 

dear daddy.day one

july 18, 2011

dear daddy,

we are all so glad that you made it to costa rica safely! 

after a busy evening of dog pile on poppie which then turned into tickle poppie until he almost wet his pants, we settled into our beds and rested up for a fun day today. 

we have been playing a lot today as to be expected. our usual games of chasing and "hannah hannah boo" have been the most frequent. marmie and poppie have some of the coolest "old toys" {unfortunately those are mommy, uncle chad, and uncle nathan's toys from their childhood} that we love to play with too. they keep us entertained for hours.

grey had swimming lessons this morning and did super! he practiced scooping up super hero ice cream with the water and swam across the pool multiple times. {with a little help} he even decided to show ms. april how he could dunk his head under water! we were all impressed :) it wore him out.

tucker was most enthralled with a big ol' frog that a bigger boy at the pool found. he was flaunting that thing around and you better believe tucker was right beside him trying to take hold of it himself. 

will relaxed in his stroller and took a nap while marmie sat close by. 

lunch and naps had by all except from your youngest son who refuses to sleep while he's away from home. that little rascal.

and tuck got himself up from his nap today. yep, climbed right out of his pack n' play and walked right out of the door. he was very happy to get back in tonight though. grey put him to bed. he said his prayers for him and then sang him the ol' classics, "rudolf," "frosty," and "silent night." we should have made the same rule for christmas songs as we did for christmas movies...not until november.

my mom and i decided to take a trip to costco this afternoon which was somewhat of a disaster of tuckerness. he had a meltdown. there was absolutely no warning of this when he was excitedly doing the robot to lecrae's "God is enough" in the car on the way. imagine that one...while you look at this face...

we had dinner from panera which grey promply swallowed whole. just so he could have some annie's chocolate bunnies.  then we all headed outside to enjoy the evening outdoors. we smelled flowers, watched bees, killed ants, and raced down the driveway.

i failed multiple times in disciplining tuck today because i CANNOT not laugh at him. oh my word. it's horrible. i caved. but not every time.


i answered lots of questions from grey today. just to let you in on his latest one, "mommy, when we move do our bones move too?"


another round of "tickle me! tickle grey! tickle mommy!" and a good dog pile and the day was done.


watching master chef and thinking of you...

love,

us

wrc.four months

four whole months!

they have passed ever so quickly.

we can't get enough of all 15 lbs. 10 oz. of this little man. this boy is quite the sweetums. my word, he is happy! he is constantly full of belly laughs which in turn always makes me laugh right back at him.

sweet baby snuggles up with his blankies to sooth himself to sleep. we have begun the before naps and bed routine of books and singing. he likes to snuggle into my neck just before i lay him down. he takes 3-4 naps a day depending on how long a stretch he gets in at a time. thankfully he recovered from his revolt against sleeping once we returned from our crazy 10 day jaunt. a good dose of his own bed and a little normalcy kicked him right back in to sleeping a solid 9-10 hours at night. he hits the hay at 7 pm and wakes up between 4 and 5 am. 

he is such a social little fella. loves looking at faces and hearing our voices. i find a new very ticklish spot on him every day it seems. which just provokes that belly laugh.

he is becoming increasingly interested in toys. intentionally grabbing things and putting them in his mouth. he gets busy batting at things under his play mat and also jumping around in the jumparoo now that his neck is so strong and his little tootsies touch the floor. 

oh AND he's rolling over both ways! seriously. i am so not ready for this. but he is. he is so proud of himself!

i'm really hoping his complete and utter disdain for the bottle doesn't mean that he is going to be stubborn. he has such a good temperament that i would sure hate it if he had such a stubborn streak in him. he is still nursing every 3 to 4 hours. he has just started showing some interest in food while we eat and it's hilarious. he has this certain rounded lip look when he spies something on a fork. and then he starts to reach for it. i won't be feeding him food until i feel like he needs a little extra something. i better get on my baby food making with all these yummy fresh fruits and veggies in season! 

grey still refers to him as "chubby cheeks" more often than not. and tuck gave him the ol' one two on his forehead yesterday with a metal bucket that resulted in his first battle wound. he took it like a man and only cried for a short while because i scooped him up and snuggled him so much he forgot about it! 

i wish i could stop time right here and now and just enjoy him forever at this age. but then again, the more he grows the more i have to love about him!

a date

grey and i had a night out on the town. 

super man ice cream for him, mint chocolate chip for me, and a window front seat where both of our legs dangled from the stools. 

we talked. no surprise there. i had no plans. i just let him talk. and eat his ice cream.

which took him forever {have i ever mentioned how much he likes to talk?} and eventually turned his teeth blue.

some hot topics of our conversation: {note: i simply listened and responded when asked a question}

why God made certain silly words.

why tucker is soooo wild sometimes.

how funny tyson is when he calls blueberries "boolillies."

the fact that krista is indeed 9 years old. daddy always thinks she's only 7 years old.

how do you spell.....? {insert words like "words," "something," "blueberries," "kangaroo"}

he's probably going to marry brooke one day. 

about how mommy's feet actually hang off the stool too and it would be okay if our flip flops fell off. "that's serious mommy!"

how he wants to go on dates with me when his really big. {not gonna lie. this one made me tear up.}

how he's going to be in preschool in september. he can't wait to see his friends again.

and much much more. 

it was some precious time with my precious son.

.........

grey has been showing lots of interest in taking pictures. when i say taking interest, i mean he's asking me REAL questions about focusing, composition, and lighting! i could not be more thrilled. so part of our date was to give him the camera {with my hands very close by for support. that camera is heavy!} and let him be as creative as he could be in those moments. 

it was a blast. 

he loved the self-timer and only wanted to use that for about 15 minutes. i let him set everything up. he found somewhere to set the camera, he told me where to sit, and then ran to get in the picture. it was awesome. here is some of his handy work. 

he did such a good job. those were just a select few.

then i took a few of him throwing coins in the fountain and savored our last few moments just the two of us.

can't wait until our next date! i do hope they last until his really big.