hello 30 . part 1

my 30th birthday seemed like the perfect time to remember. to remember the years that the Lord has been ever faithful to me. to us. 

matthew planned a beautiful trip to hilton head for just he and i to spend a few days together. we had time to talk, to just be together, to laugh, to cry (only i cried of course), to process life, and to remember.

we talked of our marriage and God's faithfulness in giving us one another. we remembered past relationships and saw clearly the grace God gave us in giving us one another. all of the life events that led to us meeting and marrying. our dating days, our early marriage days, the struggles of figuring things out, and the way God softened us to His truth and taught us (and is teaching) to love one another well. i am so undeserving of my husband. 

we remembered our college days before we met and saw clearly how the Lord brought us together at just the right time. we remembered the friendships He gave us to grow us and challenge us in our time there. we saw the bigger picture of how that has shaped our now and where God has us. 

we remembered further back. the way our parents guided us and showed us what it was like to follow Christ even when it didn't seem to make sense to us. the way they disciplined us out of love. the way they loved us through those tough years. the way they modeled marriage for us and the work it takes.

we remembered the places we lived, the relationships, the schools we attended. it all worked together. to bring us to the here and now. 

we talked of people most. of others that have surrounded us and encouraged us and those that didn't meet our expectations. that challenged us but we learned and we grew. we talked of those that we see now and understand the gift of them near. and all the people along the way that have come in and out and stayed close and moved far and how they have all been used in and through our lives. 

no one other than God, our creator and sustainer could have orchestrated all of our lives. 

we can see clearly from where He has brought us. we look back and remember ALL the things he has done. though some were very unpleasant, they were used and are being used. He is in and through all things. we just have to open our eyes to see that even in the here and now. 

 we can't exactly see clearly where we are going but we are more confident now than ever, His plan is always good. 

remembering has become a regular practice for me. it causes me to drop to my knees and praise Him that He is working, has always been working, and knows exactly what He's doing.