after weeks of truly struggling. after the Lord takes me to the heights of peace and joy. after beating myself up. after high expectations. after frustration after frustration. after only seeing what's right in front of me. after depending on myself for days on end. after all the "me" fades away.
He hems me in.
and that peace and joy rush back like a river on a mission. my heart stills. and our world seems to fall back into a familiar rhythm.
though it will still take time. and this time He is refining my heart. i know that's what the distance is. it's refinement. it's testing. it's molding. it's faith building.
the funny thing is i've cried tears of immense frustration JUST LAST NIGHT. my heart was in shambles JUST LAST NIGHT. i felt as though i could not fight this war any longer. why wasn't He choosing to draw me close?
and the joy comes in the morning.
my husband woke me up early and i opened His words this morning. and i read this.
"for though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. we are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." {2 corinthians 10:3-5}
the funny thing is that even though i fully expected His truth to come alive in my heart again, i didn't expect it to be this very day. and i am ever so grateful for the grace that continues to flow freely.
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