breathe it in: the here and now

little boys' hands fold into mine as we walk down a path, up the stairs, across the parking lot.

the cries of "mommy, mommy!" ring throughout the house and echo from room to room as little eyes search for my familiarity. 

the "good morning mommy" and the washing of dirty hands. early morning snuggles in our bed and sweet songs together. a child's heart expressed through words in prayer to a God that is "way bigger than even daddy!" 

tears to tend to. boo boo's to be kissed. faces to wipe. chubby legs to squeeze.

the sweet baby breath on my cheek as his body relaxes and drifts to sleep. i could stay there a while.

arms squeeze my neck so tight followed by very wet kisses. the comfort of a mother's love surround. and i have the privelege of being here. being here. with them.

for every second of their life so far. i am here.

i don't want to miss a minute of it. a second even. these are the moments i will one day say aloud, "i would do anything to get those precious moments back."

so as i'm in the middle of what seems like chaos with 3 very young boys, i am savoring it all up. i am committing to memory the moments that make up our life now. here and now. 

i am reading longer books and answering harder questions from my oldest. 

i am teaching him to read himself. to tell time. his address. the questions abound.

his mind is constantly in motion processing the world around him understanding it in greater depths as each day passes.

but still he wants his mommy to kiss him goodnight, to hold his hand, to snuggle with in the middle of the day. he's growing into a young boy but i still have him.

i can't keep up with the middle one. 

he's feisty. and adventurous. 

but that boy can love hard. 

he never fails to climb into my lap and snuggle that shaggy head into my chest to relax. oh i will breath it in and i wish to never let it go. 

 the joy of my baby boy. his unhindered joy. 

his babbling, his smile stretched from ear to ear and a belly laugh from the simplest looks or inflection in my voice. if life could only stay so stripped down. if i could hold them forever.

but for now i will be here in all the moments.