a gift

Sometimes, or maybe more like all the time, God is pointing me to Himself in really big ways. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it's really awesome. In the end it's always awesome but the process STINKS a big one. I am experiencing both the process in some areas of my life which royally STINK and some of the just plain awesomeness of God.


I will not go into too many details of the parts of my heart that are being tilled up at the moment. It hurts to even think about. Sin STINKS. I hate it. I despise it. I loathe it. It's in my heart and when it's revealed to me it brings me to my knees and I find my face planted on the ground. yuck. Pride is the root of it all. I am dealing with it and learning to deal with it and trusting that the God of all grace will sustain me.


I say all that to make it clear that I know God is good in all things. In the things He is taking me through that are hard and in the just plain good things. 


In His goodness, He has seen fit to provide us an absolutely free, new (to us) vehicle. No, we didn't think we NEEDED it. BUT God knows way better than we do. 


The beautiful part of all of this to me is getting to be a part of someone else's obedience to the Lord. Yes, we are the recipients of a new van but really it is so clear that we are being given a gift from the Lord due to someone else's obedience to Him. It gives me chills just to type. 


About two years ago, Matthew and I were taken down a long hard road of truly understanding that everything we have and obtain is not ours. It is provided for us for God's glory and He is the giver. This is no exception. It is a "bigger" gift that is more obvious to me but takes me back to understanding that even the board games we own are a gift from God to use for His glory. I am all in.


Stephanie told me something a few weeks ago that I will never forget. She distinctly remembers as she grew up being told that they had certain things in their life because God provided it for them. I want my children to remember that being frequently stated in our home. It's true. He alone provides all things and I hope to continue to learn contentment where we are.


Grey often wants to thank God for his closet or his fan and while sometimes I think those things are funny, we thank Him anyway. He is the giver. We are the recipients of His most abundant gifts. ABUNDANT gifts. I can't wait until the day I will inherit His kingdom alongside Him. That will be way better than a van. But I'll take the van for now :)