bittersweet

i am all by myself for a day! this is seriously the weirdest thing on planet earth. i cannot remember the last time i actually had time ALL BY MYSELF. it hasn't been for the past 15 months i know that! i am currently at our house with no Grey, no Oscar, and no Matthew for a whole day! It's bittersweet really. We leave for the beach tomorrow and Matthew comes in tonight at 10:3o and I will pick him up from the airport. I met Stephanie and Cheryl yesterday between here and Columbia and handed off Grey and Oscar. Oscar is staying in Cola with Marie...one of his favorite people on earth. Grey is at the beach already with the rest of the Cavin family and I am here!!! one may ask, "what are you going to do all by yourself?" and I would tell you, "anything I want!" so far i've run some errands without having to haul the stroller and a toddler while throwing food to Grey to try and keep him in the cart or stroller. I've cleaned my house. I've done lots of laundry. I watched a movie. I read a book (most of one). I spent uninterrupted time the Lord. I sat on the couch and watched something other than Little Einsteins or Elmo's World. I organized. I woke up this morning at 8:02 for the first time and not 6:02. wow.

i do miss him. i miss that big ol' smile when he wakes up in the morning. i miss his hugs. i miss his open-mouthed kisses. i miss dancing with him. i miss his blue eyes. i miss him saying "DADDY!" i miss teaching him. i miss tickling him. i miss his fat feet. i miss seeing him in the rear view mirror. i miss singing with him. i miss smelling the flowers outside with him. i miss hearing him laugh. i miss watching him snuggle up with his blankies. i miss watching him discover new things. i miss seeing him learn. i miss telling him how much i love him! so here's that sweet little boy.

this is his "i'm smelling the flowers" face

caring for the flowers
mowing the weeds while daddy's away
serious face